Daniel O'Donnell is your perfect grown-up son or nephew. He is not like your real and imperfect grown-up sons and nephews.
Daniel doesn't join the Hells Angels or the Socialist Workers' Party; Daniel does'nt smoke dope or bring home a girlfriend with pink hair, combat trousers and a rusty safety pin through her eyebrow.
Daniel just sings tunefully and is wholesome; Daniel is humble and modest. And the songs he sings are easy on the ear. There's none of that Bring Your Daughter to the Slaughter nonsense when Daniel's around.
That, no doubt, is why his fans most of whom are women old enough to be his mother or auntie adore him.
As any provincial newspaper reporter from Penzance to Inverness will tell you, when Daniel O'Donnell plays the local theatre, you're guaranteed a story about fans queuing in the rain for days before the tickets go on sale.
His records have sold millions worldwide, he is almost certainly a multi-millionaire, his fans are as loyal as Sinatra's, and he can fill venues in the Wembley Arena class, but he is seldom seen on television. He believes this is simply because his material is unfashionable among the young.
Yesterday, the O'Donnell phenomenon came to Swindon, and 617 fans filled the Wyvern Theatre to capacity.
The occasion was the launch of the BBC Wiltshire Sound Children in Need Campaign, and the proceeds of Daniel's presence were enough to start the ball rolling with a cheque for £2,910.
The show began with performances by local talents such as Melksham country singer Texan Ted, 14-year-old Ronan Keating lookalike Darren Newbury, poet Aly Bull and warm-up singer Sarah Lee from Durrington.
Wiltshire Sound presenter Sandy Martin acted as MC, and instigated periodic chants of: "We want Daniel!"
When Daniel O'Donnell finally stepped on to the stage amid a discreet cloud of dry ice, the welcome was as warm as that for a loved one who has been away for a while.
Favourite songs from Wind Beneath my Wings to Edelweiss were themselves greeted like old friends, and O'Donnell personally spoke to and shook hands with dozens of fans during and after the show.
The star also held a question and answer session halfway through the performance. Daniel O'Donnell comes from County Donegal in the north west of Ireland, and insists he never dreamed of worldwide success when he began making records in the early 1980s.
He said: "It happened without me realising it was happening in the beginning." Naturally, there was a kind word for his hosts: "It is lovely to be back here in Swindon. We are just sorry that we cannot come more."
Asked again about whether he would like his own television show, he said: "I do believe there's a market, and I would love to think that something could be done.
"We'll see." Later, he stood in the foyer, posed for pictures and signed autographs for what seemed like the entire audience. He was friendly, patient and cheerful all the while.
The perfect son or nephew.
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