Desperation has forced me to seek your help. I've travelled the country and endured apostrophe misuse such as a greengrocer's "Golden Deliciou's", "St Gile's's" from an over-possessive Saint, and "Ladie's and Gents Umbrella's".
Even on the motorway, one is not safe; I have been passed by a car sporting the number plate "ERN1'5".
Trowbridge is not immune. In The Shires, we are currently assured that "Size doe's matter". Honestly. Which brings me to Asda. I have written to the manager, I have spoken to staff members, I have left a note in the "We are listening to you" box; but the listening store isn't listening.
Every impressionable child who enters Asda is confronted by signs reading "LOOSE BANANA'S". Loose Banana's ... what? A loose Banana's handbag? Or perhaps a loose banana's going to thump the manager unless he removes the unwanted apostrophe.
I have recently formed a group Campaign to Remove Apostrophes In Trowbridge, CRaPIT for short. We shall, of course, be producing CRaPIT T-shirts, CRaPIT car window signs, and fluorescent CRaPIT stickers for covering up offending apostrophes.
Will you support us in this campaign?
Terry Brown,
Chairperson,
CRaPIT,
Bassetts Pasture,
Bradford on Avon.
l We would be pleased to see more. Please send examples to the Editor, Wiltshire Times, 15 Duke Street, Trowbridge.
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