IF I allow my dog to foul in an open space the council has a nice man who will prosecute me.

If I flytip some rubbish where I shouldn't, the council has a nice man who will go through that rubbish in order to ascertain my identity and once again prosecute.

If I happen to put some garden waste outside my home in a refuse sack, the council has a man with a big orange lorry who will not take it as it is not domestic waste.

And should I not pay my council tax, then the council has a very nice man who will point out to me that as a citizen of this wonderful town, I must pay for the services I receive.

I got to thinking whether there was a way around all this, and I believe I've found the solution.

If I buy myself a caravan then I can park wherever I like, and as long as I call myself a traveller I'm okay! My dog can poo all day to its heart's content.

As I wouldn't have a front gate to leave my refuse outside, I would have to leave it lying around.

And I could always extend my stay if I also had a baby who was well enough to travel 30 miles from my last location, but sadly can no longer be moved until better.

Where would one of those nice council men be then?

People might think that this new way of life would make me a parasite, but apparently it doesn't because everyone is entitled to live how they like, even if it is at the expense of others!

D PAGINTON

Hyde Road

Swindon