A GROUP of people of all ages met in Wootton Bassett High Street one morning last week at about a quarter to eight.

They formed a long line along the pavement by Apsley Arcade and, despite the extreme cold, they spent the next half hour watching the traffic go by.

At regular intervals, after moving their heads to the right towards Lyneham, they would turn back, competing with the people on their immediate left and right to see how high they could raise their eyebrows. And this was just the build-up to the main event.

At about 8.15am a single-deck, Swindon-bound bus hove into view. The long line of people then spent the next five to 10 minutes boarding the bus. This was made more fun by the fact that all the seats were taken by people who had played the game earlier further down the road.

How they laughed as they clambered aboard, standing in the aisle, crawling under seats, sitting on the laps of the more respectable looking folk. Whoever thought of putting that old lady on top of the valise in the luggage compartment had style. And the toddler sat on the driver's shoulders was loving every minute of it. "Health and Safety? pah, we be Wiltshire!"

At that time of day, of course, it's a stop and start crawl to the Anchor Butter roundabout, where a few people managed to get off. A couple of them actually worked nearby, the others were just squeezed out. That was a shame, as there were one or two young lads at the back of the bus who lacked the experience and assertiveness to make it through. I'm told they just went straight to an employment agency in Swindon and got another job in town to make it easier.

The contestants had all paid £1.35 to join in the fun the lurching, swaying, sprawling and white-knuckling. Those in seats enjoyed dodge the elbow, bum and briefcase, bonus points if you got all three in one go. I'm told great friendships have been formed as a result. "Well, when you get that close, I suppose it must be like this in the submarine service," said three men as they disappeared arm in arm into the railway station entrance.

If you would like to play this game in your part of Swindon, just call Neville Eagles, operations manager at Stagecoach.

MALCOLM STURGES

Old Court

Wootton Bassett

Swindon