So starts the first few chapters of Michael Scott's autobiography Rehab to Rio, which so far makes depressing reading.
A talented writer, he paints an all too graphic picture of the abusive drinking cycle he remained locked in from the age of 26 to 36.
But as the 37-year-old adds to his story by night in a mud house in South America, he knows it will reveal itself to be a positive tale, proving there is light at the end of the tunnel.
On a typical day Michael, whose parents live in Pinehurst, would put away ten cans of high strength lager plus spirits. He drank, he knows now, because he felt unable to cope with life and like many drinkers alcohol gave him a release.
"I had always been what I would term a heavy drinker but I suddenly decided to start using it to deal with any problems and a lack of confidence," he said.
"I worked at a printers in Swindon and didn't enjoy it and was drinking before I went to work to deal with work. I also drank before I went out with friends because I thought it would make me better company.
"I was trying to fit myself into a lifestyle that didn't suit me in every respect. "My friends and my parents are absolutely horrified now I tell them the truth. They couldn't see it. They thought I was depressed but I was just permanently drunk."
Two years ago the problem became so severe he was put into a rehab programme in Bristol. He spent seven weeks there, including Christmas, but although it saved his life it did not stop his drinking.
"I stayed sober for three months after I got out but one day I got bored," he said. "I went to the off- licence and that was that."
A further four trips to the same rehab place followed with the same result. By now he was mixing alcohol with anti-depressants and he became so depressed he tried twice to commit suicide and spent two months in a psychiatric hospital in Swindon.
Again he went into into rehab but this time it was a new type of programme and it worked.
"It looked at my life and what I had done right back from when I was little and looked for patterns. It made me realise I have a choice and my choice is to drink or not drink," he said.
It was while Michael was in the psychiatric hospital that the first seeds of his idea of visiting South America were planted.
While in rehab for the last time he was given a book about Peru and when he left on May 5 and found himself wandering the streets of Bristol, he popped into a travel shop.
A month later he arrived in Lima in Peru for the start of a six week trip across South America funded by the proceeds of his divorce settlement which came through while he was in rehab.
The tour was, he says, the best time of his life.
He visited the lost city of the Incas in Machupicchu in Peru and went down a 400-year-old working silver mine in Bolivia.
In Paraguay the football-mad Swindon Town supporter saw the national side beat Brazil, joining in the celebrations, and in Brazil he met the country's football team. And at the end of the trip he went tandem sky diving in Rio.
But one place on his travels struck him more than all the rest a town in the middle of the Andes with a population of 300,000 called Cusco.
At the end of his trip he decided to return there and start to write his memoirs. He now lives with a local family and is accepted as a Peruvian. "When I got to Cusco I didn't want to leave," he said. "It is an absolutely beautiful city, known for its arts and crafts, with a wonderful mixture of the old and new. It has a certain spirit and makes me very happy. I have made some genuine friends.
"When I first arrived I thought I would rent an apartment but someone said there was a room going so I went to look. It was in a really grotty house made of mud but something told me I should try it because it would be different.
"It was the best decision I have ever made. I am now a member of a Peruvian family and I go everywhere with them. They don't speak English so I have had no option but to pick up the language from them.
"There can be up to 16 people in the house because it is a free run for the extended family and it is very basic. There is an outside toilet and hardly any hot water but there is cable TV, a phone and a fax."
Michael has been sober now for 14 months. He writes at night and by day works at the South American Explorers Club House, an information bank for people visiting the continent. He also works for an internet cafe and plays for a local football team.
He is a quarter of the way through his book.
"I feel incredibly happy that I have a clean slate to do what I want to do now. Anything that goes wrong is down to me and I don't blame the drink or anything else anymore," he said.
"I have a better perspective on life and what makes me happy. I know what to do if I am not happy which doesn't involve drink.
"It will never be over for me. I will always have a problem with drink. But I am choosing not to touch it and feel very lucky."
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