MOORLAND Road, as you can see from this week's cover story, is the bustling heart of Oldfield Park; the district's very own Oxford Street, if you will, with everything from video shops to butchers to keep your purse and wallet well exercised.

So, after a hard afternoon's shopping, you may feel the need to spend a final penny before boarding the bus back home.

Situated conveniently around the corner from the high street, the toilets on Shaftesbury Road are square, functional but without the cach of say, an M&S in-store toilet. Nevertheless, for those with miniature bladders, they provide a vital service.

So let's peek inside...

Opening times: Some big steel gates suggest you better not get locked in here after dark.

Number of urinals: The standard metal trough nevertheless, free of yesterday's Daily Sport.

Washing/drying facilities: Another of those three-in-one gizmos (as we so eloquently put it last week) which will wet, soap and dry your hands.

Bouquet: It has that stark toilet smell only men recognise. It's not the portaloos at Glastonbury but it's certainly not somewhere you'd want to rest and breathe in your surroundings.

Cleanliness: No unsightly puddles, but some paper strewn across the floor and dirt marks from the winter mud.

Lighting: A bit dim, to be honest. Don't take that fine print copy of Canterbury Tales if you're planning a long visit.

Decor: Prison-esque.

Worth visiting: Don't make a detour to go here. This is your standard British toilet lacking just enough obscene grafitti to be totally average.