MARK SPARROW COLUMN: SOMETIMES you really do have to wonder how such a hapless bunch of dunderheads came to be running this once-great city of ours.

And just in case you think I'm picking on one political party I'm not. In my eyes they're all equally useless because none of them seem to be making any sense at the moment.

For example, can anyone tell me what on earth possessed the three group leaders of B&NES and a couple of officials to book themselves on a first-class train to London when they were planning to plead poverty with the government?

Last week, Labour leader Cllr Del Herod, Liberal Democrat leader Cllr Nigel Roberts and Tory leader Cllr Francine Haeberling accompanied by B&NES chief executive John Everitt and another senior official travelled to meet the local government minister Alan Whitehead to beg for extra cash.

The trip was to explain to the government how Bath is heading for a budget shortfall of £1.7m and a slump in income caused by the drop in tourists since September 11. The aim was to cadge a bit more money from the government and avoid a 10 per cent increase in council tax bills.

However, instead of travelling second class, the councillors booked first-class train tickets.

Imagine the look on the minister's face if the councillors had pulled their notes from their briefcases and accidentally dropped five first-class tickets on to the ministerial rug.

If the minister had taken a close look at the tickets he would have seen that instead of paying £240 for five standard return fares, the council forked out a whopping £545.

I mean, it stands to reason that if you're pleading poverty and asking someone for a bit of cash to tide you over, you don't go turning up in the equivalent of a chauffeur-driven Rolls-Royce. Is it me or is that just plain common sense?

In an effort to justify the expense, a council spokeswoman claimed that the party had to travel in first class because they needed privacy to discuss sensitive financial information.

What exactly are they saying? Is there a more discreet and better class of nosy parker up in the first class carriages? You could argue they would have been better off in steerage with people who are "too stupid" to understand their conversations.

For half the amount that the councillors spent I would have worn earplugs and driven them to London myself and they would have had all the privacy they wanted.

Anyway, did they really need that much privacy to get their story straight?

This trip to London with the B&NES begging bowl was organised weeks ago appointments with government ministers don't come at the drop of a hat, you know. These days you have to wait even longer to see a minister than you do a doctor. The councillors had plenty of time to get their stories straight.

Actually, I have a feeling that the decision to travel first class had little or nothing to do with privacy. It's yet another example of the thoughtless and wasteful way our council is run.

The councillors and their officials got caught out travelling in first class and now they're trying to claim it was all because they wanted a private chat.

The truth is, our councillors don't know the first thing about saving money. If they did, they wouldn't have spent £1.7m on Milsom Street and the bus gates.

When things get tight their first instinct is to cut back on front-line services like schools and old people's homes. But when it comes to cutting back on their own creature comforts... they simply haven't got a clue.

And finally . . .

RIGHT then! Let's have all the people who are ginger, fat or Tory on one side of the room please. Okay... you lot are all going to lose your jobs and there's nothing you can do about it.

What do you mean it's not fair? Of course it's fair. As the law stands you can be sacked for simply being what you are. Oh... and you can add smokers to that list too.

That's what 10-a-day smoker Mark Hodges of Swindon discovered last week when he was sacked after just two days into his job with a packaging company.

The firm that Mr Hodges worked for operates a "no smoking" policy. Unfortunately, Mr Hodges didn't realise that the policy included no smoking at home or anywhere else for that matter. He let slip to his boss's wife that he enjoyed the occasional cigarette in the garden at home and was subsequently flung out on his ear.

Apparently some companies have a "no smokers" rule, which means they simply don't employ smokers because they might be ill more often or just plain smelly.

Well, if they can get away with discrimination like that, what will it be next? And how come they're not allowed to discriminate on grounds of race, disability or sex... but they can if you're a smoker, old, overweight or anything else that they don't quite fancy?

They'll be sacking meat eaters next.