FEATURE: WHEN it comes to addresses, you can't get much more impressive than No.16, the Royal Crescent. Especially since it is the address of the The Royal Crescent Hotel, one of the world's grandest.

What better place to stop and spend a penny you might think. Sumptuous certainly. Elegant, of course. And spotless to the point of being scary.

Read on and learn the whole sad truth behind a great dream spoiled.

Open: Probably 24 hours a day.

Number of urinals: Just two separate cubicles. Plain and run-of-the-mill. Wouldn't want to while away the hours in here.

Drying facilities: Real white cotton hand towels. Impressive.

Bouquet: Neither good nor bad. And that's frankly a disappointment.

A toilet in a hotel as famed as this one should smell like a country meadow, a beach in the Indian Ocean or a Paris perfumery.

All the Bath Star could smell was a slight trace of bleach.

Cleanliness: Fair. Not pristine. Not sparkling. Not whiter-than-white.

Lighting: Charming.

Mirror: Tinted

Decor: Tasteful. Rather like an upmarket Wimpey home.

Worth visiting: No, definitely not. This should a magnet for toilet aficionados but tragically it falls way short of the mark.