FEATURE: Sick to the back teeth of coffee bars, shops and cafes? Fed up with trying to find anywhere that offers a good old fashioned cup of tea? Then why not join us in a celebration of all things genteel, English and cucumbered.

Every fortnight, Earl Grey will be uncovering those last bastions of morning and afternoon tea which have somehow managed to survive beneath the ever-choking canopy of coffee culture.

Temple of Tea: Sally Lunn's tea house

Price: £10.18 for High Tea consisting of smoked salmon and cucumber served on the famous Sally Lunn bun, followed by a cream tea of clotted cream and jam.

Quality: It's just a personal observation, but it might be worth investing in a few metres of thick, polythene sheeting to lay on the floor, 50 paper serviettes and a highly absorbent bib before embarking on this culinary adventure.

Why? Well, for most people the term 'bun' conjures up images of a small, dough-like pastry, slightly bigger than a scone. The Sally Lunn bun however is anything but dainty. In fact, it's the size of one of Saturn's rings.

Combine this with thick butter, cream cheese, slivers of salmon and slices of cucumber and each mouthful takes on the physical equivalent of swallowing a snow-plough's blade.

Perfect for snakes, yes, but a little more difficult for those whose jaw bones don't unlock. Consequently, each mouthful results in the above ingredients erupting spectacularly, again and again, out of both corners of your mouth. Not pleasant to look at, true, but very tasty.

As for the tea itself, perfectly acceptable.

Service: Friendly and cheerful. You almost hope the waiters and waitresses will talk with Ye Olde English accents, but sadly no-one uttered: "'Ere my lover, aisle waarm this up fur thee."

Final Gulp: Pleasant enough and highly entertaining from the "Cor, look what fell out of your mouth" point of view. Good quality food and skipfuls of it.

If you can recommend any fine tea houses in the area, please drop us a line at: Has Bean, Bath Star, 12 Avon House, Brassmill Lane Trading Estate, Bath, BA1 3JF.