PERHAPS I am missing something, but isn't it time that the local council sent some workmen round to remove from Calne's magnificent new library forecourt that mangled lump of stainless steel that presumably fell from a skip lorry as it pulled away from the traffic lights on its way to the tip?

It is also quite extraordinary, if it is indeed a sculpture, that after all the time, care and attention paid to the superb job made of the library paving, someone didn't take similar care to turn the drawings clockwise by 90 degrees before they installed the thing.

I suspect that when Prince Phillip saw the head, his comments might have been a little colourful to say the least.

Having also witnessed what the nocturnal artists in our midst are capable of, I suspect it won't be too long before the head will be treated to a new makeover or two.

That is, of course, provided it doesn't join the supermarket trolleys in the Marden.

And how many little trapped heads will the fire service have to extract from it?

Let's do the job properly. Get the thing finished, and hang it up on the town hall. This would be the perfect answer to Mercy Baggs' quest for security.

Put a closed circuit camera in each ear and one in each eye socket.

That would enable coverage of the A4, up Castle Hill and down Church Street. For good measure, one could be struck up its nostril to cover the town hall entrance as well.

On another point, now that Her Majesty has departed, (thanks for coming Ma'am, it was indeed a pleasure to see you) will Chippenham be asking for some of the Christmas decorations back from Calne, or will they let us borrow them for just a little longer if we promise not to ask again next year?

And could we have maybe Prince Charles or Princess Anne to tour Calne quite soon? some of our other roads could do with re-surfacing as well.

GRAHAM TOPPING

Wenhill Heights, Calne