THE heartbroken mother of little Sacha Iles, the baby killed by her father, today spoke of her pain and grief and how she will never forgive the man who left her childless.

By the time Carolyn Iles was 22 she had experienced most parents' worse nightmare she had witnessed the death of her baby daughter.

But what makes it even harder for Carolyn is knowing that it was caused by the man who ultimately should have protected the baby Sacha's father, Mark Stephenson.

On Friday, the convicted killer spoke exclusively to the Evening Advertiser from his prison cell as he waited to hear what his sentence would be.

He said: "I'm not worried about the sentence because I will serve a sentence for the rest of my life anyway."

Carolyn has decided not to have any further contact with Stephenson's family as a way to move forward and she is adamant that she will never forgive and forget.

She said: "I don't think I'll ever be able to understand why it happened to my little baby or come to terms with it.

"And I won't let myself forgive Mark. I still maintain that he was a very good father up to that point. He loved showing her off and was a doting dad.

"But I remember at the time feeling so confused. Doctors were stating that the extent of her injuries showed it had to be non-accidental but at the same time I still believed that Mark would not have done it on purpose.

"But she died through what he did."

Today Carolyn explains the extent of Sacha's brain damage, sustained when Stephenson violently shook the three-month-old on September 20 last year at the home they shared in Cricklade.

Miss Iles said: "She was left blind and deaf, but it was so much more than that. The doctors all said that she would definitely die. It was just a case of when.

"At first she was in intensive care attached to tubes and needles, and had a machine breathing for her.

"At the beginning of October Sacha was taken off the drugs to encourage her to wake up naturally but apart from the odd couple of breaths she made no response.

"There was no movement or glimmer of recognition at all. Nothing.

"Then on October 13 her tube was removed and she carried on breathing. We were all so proud."

Carolyn took her baby daughter home to care for her herself in November after receiving training in life saving procedures from staff at the PMH.

She said: "I stayed constantly with her when she was in hospital but wanted to take her home. So I learned how to insert her feeding tube into her nose, which had to be changed every week.

"There were certain vital precautionary tests such as checking to make sure the tube was going to her stomach instead of her lungs.

"She also was left without any instinctive reactions. So she couldn't sniff or cough. As a result I would use a suction to remove her sec- retions from her nose and mouth otherwise she would choke to death.

"If she was sick I'd use the same suction procedure to clear her airways. She would stop breathing quite often but I had been told to rub her and administer oxygen from a mask." Sacha was left with such severe brain damage that it not only affected her sight and hearing, but her limbs too.

She had a dislocated hip and her other leg was rendered out of tone, meaning it would remain at 90 degrees to her body.

Carolyn explained: "She received physio on her arms and legs but they were just too stiff. She couldn't move them.

"Doctors said she wouldn't make it through an operation on her hip.

"After the brain damage happened she would sleep for 22 hours of the day. When she was awake she did nothing. Even if her eyes were open she couldn't focus."

Carolyn recalls the moment she died on January 20 of this year.

She said: "On Boxing Day she had had a really bad fit and was taken back into hospital. She came out after three weeks but on the day she died the fit lasted a lot longer than usual.

"Normally when she stopped breathing I'd give her oxygen and she'd resume herself. But this time she hadn't breathed for about seven or eight minutes.

"We just kept waiting and hoping to see her stomach move.

"But since October 13 the doctors had said she would never recover. Only Sacha could make her mind up when she wanted to reach the other side.

"It wasn't a relief at all when she died because I would have done anything for her. But she didn't have a normal baby's existence."

Following Sacha's death, Stephenson's solicitor requested a second opinion, which delayed funeral proceedings until June.

Not only has this upset and infuriated Carolyn, but the post- mortem procedure meant that little Sacha's organs were distributed around the country. Carolyn said: "I am disgusted that the funeral had to wait so long. It really makes me so angry when I think about it.

"Sacha's eyes were sent up to Leeds to be examined and her brain was examined in Bristol. Her brain had been slowly shrinking due to lack of oxygen.

"A newborn baby's brain weighs 400g. When Sacha died she was six-and-a-half months old and her brain only weighed 270g."

Although doctors had warned her that Sacha's condition would not improve, Carolyn says she didn't want to believe it and held out hope that she would recover right up until the time she died.

She said: "I believe miracles happen. Even though I was told she would die you can never prepare yourself for when it eventually happens."

Sacha's final resting place is at Fairford cemetery, which Carolyn visits every day. A recently erected headstone bears the inscription: "Sacha Lauren Iles, Our Little Angel," with a photograph of the smiling baby.

"I keep remembering little things," Carolyn said.

"Like the fear on friends' and family's faces when they saw her with all the tubes in hospital.

"Or when she was taken away after she had died she was wearing a little yellow hat and I can just picture that little hat. These things just stick in my mind."

Carolyn is slowly trying to rebuild her life.

She says she feels very protective towards her two young nephews, Callum 14 months, and Thomas, 19 months.

But seeing them playing and laughing is a constant reminder that her little girl should be in between the two, joining in on the fun.

She said: "Every single day I always wonder what she would be doing.

"I wear a picture of her on a necklace and have had her name tattooed on my arm. I like having reminders of her, and talking about her. It helps me get through it all."