FOOTBALL, they say, is a funny old game.

Unfortunately, it's not funny enough in Mean Machine a remake of an American-football based film starring Burt Reynolds although this movie, which features Vinnie Jones's first starring role, does have its moments.

Jones plays former footballer Danny Meehan, once captain of England who was banned from the game after fixing a match against Germany.

Down on his luck, and overly fond of the bottle, Danny gets himself in a scrape with the police during a drunken brawl in a bar.

The result sees him sent to prison for three years, and as soon as he is there The Governor (David Hemmings) invites him to coach the prison guards' semi-professional football team.

Danny is not daft. Taking sides with The Governor is tantamount to suicide, so he has an alternative suggestion to train a team of prisoners to take on the guards in a practice match.

Mean Machine UK is about as close to Mean Machine US as the shape of an English football is to an American football although some would argue there isn't a great deal of difference in the acting talent of the two lead actors.

This film is Vinnie's big test, and while he doesn't necessarily come through with flying colours, he can walk away with his head held high.

As with his performances, albeit as a supporting player, in Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch, Jones is disciplined and committed, except here he has to carry the movie from start to finish. Jones also has to get through a range of emotions anger we're used to; fear, despair and sadness we've yet to see him handle and he copes admirably.

All right, the material he has to work with isn't exactly Shakespeare, and the film is about football after all, a game with which Jones is somewhat familiar, but he works hard and he has made it clear he is serious about his new profession.

But as a drama it's not gritty enough, and as a comedy it's not funny enough.

There is an excess of stereotypes the sadistic prison guard, the nasty inmate who runs the prison, the loveable old lag and at times it comes across as an extended episode of TV sitcom Porridge. But the psychotic goalkeeper, played by Jason Statham, is amusing and his tendency to go walkabout during the match makes Manchester United's Fabien Barthez seem positively rooted to the spot.

This is also a film almost totally dominated by men, with Sally Phillips's office worker being no more than a token female appearance (she's also there to give Jones his first screen kiss).

So if you are a male football fan, you may enjoy Mean Machine. Sports-hating women had best stick with Bridget Jones's Diary.

Rating: 6 out of 10