The Gazette likes to think it breeds its reporters tough but would intrepid journalist EDWARD O'DALY be strong enough to stand the insults of ITV's hard man Corporal Nauyokas, who has reduced recruits in the Lad's Army documentary to tears, when he was put through his paces by him at Hullavington Barracks

NOT unlike a new recruit in the days of National Service, I was trying desperately hard not to look scared when I met Lad's Army star Richard Nauyokas.

On my way to Hullavington Barracks I kept reminding myself of the calm diminutive Army sergeant major who I had interviewed just over a year ago in his then role of leader of the village's Beaver Scout colony.

But no matter how hard I tried, the image that kept appearing in my head was the picture of him as the tough- talking corporal in Lad's Army, pointing at you like a demented Kitchener.

But most of all, I hoped he had not seen the headline in last week's Gazette, branding him a softy.

After signing in, I was given an Army jacket and sent off to meet the famous corporal. He was not impressed.

"You want to learn how to drill? This could take a while," he said and told me to do my jacket up, which I did very quickly.

I stood to attention, ready for the shouting to begin. "You don't want your face that close to mine," he said, with a hint of menace.

The Army calls the tirade of bellowed insults given to new recruits a 'beasting' and it is the verbal equivalent of a good kicking.

As my beasting began, I did my best not to look at the corporal as he screamed at me in the style of a 1950s corporal handling a bunch of National Service recruits. Unfortunately I could not help myself.

He stopped in the middle of an unprintable sentence about my mother and said: "Do you fancy me?"

"No, corporal."

"Then why are you looking at me like a seductive blonde?"

I stopped looking and he got on with his shouting.

Next I was taught to march. I know my left from my right and it all seemed pretty simple.

"If you teddy bear, I'll throw you on the ground and jump on your back," he said.

Teddy bearing is where you move your right arm and right leg at the same time and, with such an incentive, my marching was faultless well almost.

The time had now come for some of the pointless physical endurance the Army prides itself on.

I had to lie on my back and lift my feet six inches in the air. I was then made to open and close my legs, lift and raise them. The strain was beginning to tell, but at least I had something to think about instead of the shouting.

Press-ups were the next test of my physical endurance, not ordinary press-ups, of course, that would be too easy. These were hold your nose just above the ground for ages while somebody shouts at you.

Thankfully, since becoming a TV star, 'Corporal' Nauyokas is a busy man and my National Service lasted not much longer than ten minutes.

Out of character, the real-life Sgt Maj Nauyokas is a charming and pleasant man who admits that what went on on television is a world away from his life in the Army.

So where does budding entertainer Sgt Maj Nauyokas end and television character Corporal Nauyokas begin?

"The sarcasm is me all over," he said.

"There were times I had a tinge of guilt, but it was all in keeping with the time. I refused to treat it like a game.

"The actual punishments and everything were all from research, but you wouldn't dream of using them in the modern Army."

At the root of Lad's Army's success is the comedy pairing of Richard Nauyokas and Joe Murray as the tough corporals. The programme makers did not know what to expect from the show and gave them a free reign.

"They never knew what we were going to do next," said Sgt Maj Nauyokas. "We did a lot of research and then just did what we wanted and the cameras followed us around."

Fans of the show have been approaching Sgt Maj Nauyokas in the street to ask for an autograph and to say how much the show and the tough punishments have brought back memories of National Service.

"The feedback has been really positive locking the lads in the lockers really took people back," he said.

The Nauyokas and Murray double act, which has been likened to Morecambe and Wise in uniform, intend to carry on working together.

The duo, along with Lad's Army's one section, will be at Sunday's open day at the Hullavinton base and have been approaching agents in search of more work.

"We work so well together, it would be a shame to split us up," said Sgt Maj Nauyokas. "My wife keeps asking me when the panto season starts."

He got the job on the ITV show after answering an advertisement in Soldier magazine.

It was truly a lucky break as he had expected to be going overseas and if he had, he might have missed the ad.

"I was supposed to be going on a French commando course, but there wasn't enough room on the transport for me," he said.

"I've always wanted to work in the entertainment industry, so I applied and got a call to go for an audition."

He spoke of his pride at seeing the passing out of the young men he had trained.

"From the day they got off the truck to the day they passed out the transformation was incredible," he said.

The young volunteers earned his respect for the way they handled training that was far tougher than that for today's recruits.

"Everyone of them would walk basic training now," he said.

Word in your ear

LAD'S Army was screened after the nine o'clock watershed, but here are Corporal Nauyokas' top three printable insults.

1."Did your mother marry your cousin, and you were the result?"

2. "Do you fancy me? Then why are you looking at me like I'm a seductive blonde?

3. "I'm going to rip off your arm and beat you with the soggy end."