The BBC Wiltshire Sound Breakfast Show presenter is the Evening Advertiser's latest columnist. You can hear him every morning on 103.6FM
It's August, so welcome to a special summer holiday edition of the column. Perfect for reading in airport lounges or folding into Napoleonesque hats to keep the sun off.
As temperatures soared into the 50s last week, there was more flesh on display on the streets of Swindon than at the butchery counter in Sainsbury's.
Problem is, most of it should definitely have been kept under cover.
And the worst offenders?
Yes, it's the blokes.
Men of a certain age just can't resist stripping off at the first hint of sun. On the surface, it's a peacock-like display of torso to attract passing females.
But, and at the risk of sounding like Desmond Morris, I'm not sure that's the whole story.
Really it's other blokes who are the intended audience, in a "look-at-my-pecs-and-be-jealous" sort of way.
It's a primeval, alpha-male display that David Attenborough could make a 13-part series about (with book and DVD to follow).
Of course, most blokes would vehemently deny these subconscious reasons for baring their nipples in public.
But then most blokes probably think it looks attractive, and they're very much mistaken on that point as well.
This is a testosterone-fuelled exhibition we can do without.
Don't get yer t**s out for the lads, lads.
Now that August's here, it won't be long before the first Christmas cards appear in the shops.
Which will be the first store in Swindon to have snowmen and baubles jostling for position on the shelves with suntan lotion and barbeque briquettes?
We might try and wring out the budget to provide a prize for the first confirmed sighting of an advent calendar in the town.
Speaking of barbecues, phew what a scorcher, etc, etc.
No, sorry, bored with this now. Roll on September.
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