For 21 years Jane (not her real name) endured beating after beating at the hands of her husband.

He beat her when she was pregnant, he beat her when his dinner was not ready and he beat her when it was ready too early. He even beat her when she bought her children sweets, accusing her of blackmailing them against him.

If she caught another man's eye in the street she was beaten at home because he thought she was having an affair; if she said hello to one of her friends she was beaten for having a lesbian affair. When she was pregnant, he hit her in the stomach.

In the end, she says, she would just walk down the street staring at the ground, fearful of getting hurt yet again and ashamed that everyone else seemed to have perfect marriages while hers was a nightmare.

Now Jane is a happy 47-year-old living in Swindon, enjoying family life with her son, who lives with her, and her grown-up daughter. Her daughter has just announced she is pregnant in a stable relationship.

But for the two decades after marrying in 1976, a happy family life seemed way beyond reach.

Before they were married he was fine, she said. It was only when she had a ring on her finger that she became his possession, to be controlled at all costs.

Jane says she did fight back once, a few months into the marriage. "I slapped him in the face in retaliation once," she recalls, "and I ended up hit to the floor. I never argued back after that. I would just curl up in a ball and try to protect myself."

When she gave birth to their first child, Jane's husband became jealous. His attitude showed how domestic violence can be as damaging mentally as it is physically.

She said: "A baby takes up a lot of your time, and he hated that.

"I was never allowed my own money. When I needed cash for nappies or baby food or whatever I had to go to him and resented it, because I was taking 'his' money to look after 'my' baby."

Jane eventually decided to leave. She says that one day six years ago some-thing just clicked and she had to leave.

She became aware there was somewhere to go, the Swindon Women's Refuge, and planned her leaving like a military operation.

She said: "I knew he was going out for the morning and I knew how long he would be out. As soon as he got out of the door I put some of my and my son's things into two black bin liners and went to a friend's house.

"Then I took my son out of school because I didn't want him to try to take him, and left him at my parents' house. I went to the refuge alone because I didn't want to upset my son if he turned up there.

"I spent 15 months there and the people were incredible. To talk to other people who had been through the same thing helped me and the refuge can help you with everything.

"They know solicitors who can sort the divorce out, how to get the benefits you need everything is there."

Why did Jane not leave him earlier? She explains that her experience is not uncommon among battered wives. She said: "The men make you think no-one will believe you or listen to you, and when we got married in the 70s there was nothing like the women's refuge and the support there is for women now.

"If I had known about this early in my marriage I would have left then."

Now Jane is happy, working at the Swindon Women's Refuge and using her experiences to help other women.

She says she is not bothered that her husband was not brought to justice: "He has nothing. I am very close to my children; he has lost his children because of what he did."