MID Wiltshire Relate, the counselling service for people having problems with their relationships, was within days of shutting up shop when news of its repreive came through.

Its staff of counsellors had already received their redundancy notices when, out of the blue, the communications company, Virgin Mobile, held out a financial lifeline. The Trowbridge-based firm offered an undisclosed sum that meant the cash-strapped organisation could continue.

Thankfully, none of Relate's counsellors had moved on. Centre director Amanda Foyster was able to reconstruct the organisation and now, a little over a month since the rescue mission, Relates' mid-Wiltshire operation is back in business.

Mrs Foyster said: "It is not a situation I would like to go through again. We have learned a lot from it but we could have done without it very well.

"What it did do, however, was to highlight the strength of commitment and motivation of our staff. Because they all pulled together we were able to get back on track very quickly."

The problems that led to the near collapse began some years ago when Relate Mid Wiltshire began to amalgamate with the services in Salisbury and Swindon. The resulting hybrid, Wiltshire Relate, became too unwieldy and expensive to run.

Mrs Foyster said: "The cultural geography of the area didn't work all that well and the expected economies of scale just weren't there."

Now, however, with the Swindon service being run by Gloucestershire Relate and Salisbury being run by Dorset Relate, the mid Wiltshire service covering Kennet, West Wiltshire and North Wiltshire districts, is back up to speed, with 80 people waiting to access their services.

Originally known as the Marriage Guidance Council, Relate has moved with the times and now deals with all kinds of personal relationships, involving both married couples and those who are living together, heterosexual partners and homosexual.

A youth advisory service, known as Relateen, has arrangements with a number of secondary schools in the area, sending a counsellor in each week to offer help to children who are going through difficult times.

They also offer marriage preparation training for couples in partnership with the Church of England. Sessions help ensure that each partner's expectations are realistic and not liable to crumble in a crisis.

Mrs Foyster said: "It is all about communicating, something that is sometimes difficult to do if things are not going smoothly."

Often, relationships run on to the rocks when money problems loom. As a result, Relate tries hard to make its services available to anyone who needs it.

Mrs Foyster said: "Our aim is to make sure that no-one who needs our services is turned away. We operate a bursary fund system, offering an assessment and six sessions for £10, a lot less than it would cost normally. We would even be prepared to waive payment altogether, but we have to find the funding somewhere."

Relate's principal source of income is the charges it makes for its services, but it gets grant aid from local councils and organisations like the NHS.

How Relate has lent a hand

SANDY told the counsellor that her husband, Derek, was controlling her life.

He wouldn't let her go out with her friends, but expected her to spend all her time in the house with the children. He even told her what she could and couldn't wear.

The counsellor encouraged Sandy to involve Derek in the counselling, too. Sandy was reluctant, thinking that Derek would never let her get a word in edgeways. Derek went to the second session. Sandy was surprised that he answered questions about himself revealing a deep insecurity.

During the subsequent weeks Sandy was able to see how much Derek relied on her. As she felt more tender towards him, she was able to be more demonstrative and Derek saw he could show some vulnerability without losing face.

WHEN John and Angie went for the initial assessment they had just celebrated their fifth wedding anniversary. With two babies and the type of financial problems faced by young couples, the last four years had been difficult. Since the last baby, John had been experiencing difficulties getting an erection and for the last nine months there hadn't been any sexual activity.

From the more in-depth, individual sessions John revealed that he had been feeling neglected, with all Angie's time being spent with the children. He was also fearful that Angie might become pregnant again.

Angie had experienced some resentment at giving up her job to become a mum, which left her feeling constantly tired. John's promotion involved working longer hours and, as a result, Angie felt a lack of support.

Talking through these issues, and following a therapy programme designed to increase sensual awareness, the couple began to feel the benefits of setting aside quality time for each other. At the end of the therapy, their sexual relationship had improved and the knock-on effect on their day-to-day relationship became very evident.

A 15-YEAR-OLD girl, Kate, told a counsellor she was having constant rows with her mum and step-dad, and that mum keeps threatening to throw her out. She has done so a couple of times and Kate slept on the floor at a friend's house.

Kate was trying to revise for her GCSEs but was finding it hard to concentrate. Her dad, who used to beat her mum, turned up after six years' absence and put pressure on her to move in with his new wife.

Kate dealt with the tension by cutting her arms and binge drinking. Talking about it was very important to her.

AN 11-year-old boy, Lee, said everything was fine at home, although his parents were divorced, because he got on well with both parents and their new partners.

But he was getting into trouble at school. He told the counsellor he was being picked on. At the end of the session Lee mentioned that his dad was thinking of emigrating to Australia and that he feared he may have to choose between his mum and his dad. All became clear.