The scourge

A YOUNG man killed himself with a heroin overdose but left a note telling the world that he was no junkie.

Kristian Andersen, 20, was unconscious when he was found in the Lennox Drive flat he had shared with girlfriend Melissa Gowland.

An inquest in Swindon heard that drug paraphernalia including a spoon and a hypodermic needle were found nearby, along with two letters and his neatly folded coat.

In one of the letters, addressed To Whom it May Concern, he wrote that he did not want to be thought of as a heroin addict who had overdosed.

He continued: "This was just the easiest way to kill myself, so make sure it doesn't get printed in the paper junkie overdoses on heroin.

"Thank you Kristian Andersen."

As a postscript he added: "Tell my mum and family that I am sorry, but I hate myself and my life and cannot take it any longer."

In spite of the efforts of paramedics and other medical staff, he died later the same day November 1 last year at Princess Margaret Hospital, Swindon.

The other letter was addressed to his girlfriend and told of his love for her and their infant daughter, whom Wiltshire Coroner David Masters ordered should not be named in public.

Mr Masters recorded a verdict of suicide.

Kristian's mother, Jan Andersen, 43, a freelance writer who has set up a website for the loved ones of children who commit suicide, is backing the Evening Advertiser's anti-drugs campaign.

After yesterday's hearing, she said: "With heroin you cannot take a test drive. There is no way back.

"There needs to be more education.

"A lot of people do not realise what heroin is going to do to them.

"They think they will try it just once, but that is not what happens."

Kristian's death brought to an end the tragic final part of a life which began with promise and happiness.

A few years before, he was a teenager at the threshold of a future that was very much worth living.

Mrs Andersen, who lives in Freshbrook, freely admits that their household was a typical middle-class one, with the children advised about the dangers not only of drugs but of smoking and excessive alcohol.

Before Kristian became involved with drugs, his life seemed destined to be full of success.

At the age of 14, the then Ridgeway School pupil was one of two young winners of an Evening Advertiser competition whose top prize was a visit to the Patriot Hills base camp in the Antarctic.

The trip was organised by Swindon-born explorer David Hempleman-Adams, and during the journey Kristian met another legend of exploration, Sir Ranulph Fiennes.

The whole experience so enthralled him that he vowed to return.

He planned to finish his education and work for the Adventure Network Internat-ional organisation, helping to give other young people the chance to see far-flung parts of the world. Mrs Andersen said: "After Kristian died, the foundations of my life crumbled beneath me, and I did not believe that I would survive.

"I felt as though my heart had been viciously torn out of my body in an unprovoked assault.

"I wondered why my love was not enough to save my son. I was terrified that something may happen to my other children and, above all, I was overwhelmed by powerful feelings of guilt and failure.

"He died just 10 days before his daughter's first birthday.

"Nothing that I did would bring him back to me, so I had to continue to nurture those who were still alive my other children and my partner. Part of my healing process is helping others. That's the best gift I can give.

"My next goal is to build a community where depressed youngsters can interact with each other in a non-threatening, non-judgmental environment. People seemed embarr- assed to see me after it first happened, as suicide has such a stigma."

The inquest was told by Mrs Andersen that Kristian became involved with drugs while in his teens, after swapping his normal, law-abiding circle of friends for a group of people he never brought to the family home.

Mrs Andersen told the coroner: "He wanted everybody to like him. He just wanted to be part of the crowd, whatever that was.

"The nice group of friends that he originally had at 13 or 14, for some reason he ditched them."

When they found him, paramedics discovered that Kristian was breathing as little as three times a minute.

Pathologist Dr Robert Vanhegan, who conducted the post-mortem, said that Kristian died from self poisoning with heroin.

However he pointed out that Kristian's body displayed none of the indicators generally found among heroin addicts, such as malnourishment or a large number of old needle marks, although there were needle marks in the crook of his left elbow.