WHEN Corinna Mazzotta gave birth to baby Ben a year ago she didn't want to know him.

The so-called maternal instinct had eluded her and she says she felt like a failure as a mother.

Corinna, 30, who worked as an accountant before having Ben, explained: "As soon as I saw him I immediately thought I didn't want him.

"I wanted to ask the nurse to take him away. I didn't know what to do."

Corinna, of Angus Close, Ramleaze, said she thought her postnatal depression was heightened because of a difficult birth.

She said: "The total labour was about 24 hours and I had complications straight after. I missed out on having initial contact with Ben.

"My partner Anthony had the skin-to-skin contact, while the doctors were seeing to me, and they bonded immediately.

"I was pleased he had that affection but it made me feel worse that I didn't seem to love Ben.

"In a way I felt jealous," she said.

Corinna's despair was made worse during the first few days after the birth, when Ben would not take to breast milk.

"I felt useless," Corinna said. "You hear about how blissful you should feel when you have a new baby and I didn't have any of that.

"I had attended lots of ante-natal classes and was very prepared for labour and the birth, but no one tells you that you might feel unhappy afterwards.

"I wasn't prepared for it," Corinna added.

"Anthony was really supportive in the first few months.

But: "After a few months his comment would be that I'd had a sense of humour bypass," she said.

"I don't find the same things funny anymore. Stupid things used to make me laugh but now they just annoy me."

But with the help of midwives and health visitors Corinna is now back on track and enjoying her role as mother to Ben, who is now 13 months-old.

She said: "I had visits everyday from midwives and health visitors which made such a difference. Knowing the support is there on a regular basis really helps.

"This new care pathway is a really good idea.

"It wasn't in existence when I had Ben and I wish it had have been.

"Just the fact that someone is there for you changes your mood when you're feeling down.

"And even though I have felt awful for nine months my experience hasn't put me off having more children," Corinna said.