So it's 2004 and nothing changes. . . the same old pointless research, with the same old pointless disclosures.

In this case, findings from the Universities of Florida and North Carolina which claim that for every inch (2.54cm) of height, an employee can expect to earn £493 a year.

Apparently, the researchers were particularly excited by indications that this is especially so in the sales and management professions (as regards 'Sales', they might also have wanted to study the correlation between shortness of skirts and length of legs).

Whatever, their groundbreaking conclusions are that being tall enhances an individual's confidence and thus improves their performance at work. Now hell, why didn't I think of that?

Oh, and this isn't an April Fool by the way, but on a similar theme, Japanese scientists are currently developing a mobile phone you can wear on your wrist just like a watch.

Impressive, you say: and doubtless this is true if you happen to be one of those corporate climbers who equates novelty and fashion with high performance in the boardroom.

Except, and this I frankly can't wait to see on the 125 to London, the phone works by sticking your finger in your ear (the caller's voice is converted into vibrations that travel down the index finger).

Yes, it may well prove to be the smallest and latest, but frankly any middle management wannabe who thinks that by conducting business deals loudly with one finger shoved in their ear will earn them friends and influence people is gloriously deluded.

Finally, what a wonderfully intriguing model 'Sharon' , pictured here, makes in Mainline Employment's 2004 calendar.

Every bit as collectable as their Pirelli counterpart, Mainline's recruitment babes (with their offices in Commercial Road) are pictured modelling in their work environments.

Miss October however is seen lying back in bed, flaunting feathered marabou mules, whilst lying next to a man old enough to be her father.

Quite what message this sends out I have no idea I'm just sad it's only January and all the models are sensibly dressed at their workstations.