MUM Cheryl Kimber, whose son Andrew was killed in a house fire after moving away to escape Calne drug dealers, will celebrate what would have been his 23rd birthday today, with a pilgrimage to his grave.
Mrs Kimber, 45, who now lives in Hilperton, near Trowbridge, lost her son on December 22, 2001, just a week after he moved from Calne to Yeovil in Somerset.
The former John Bentley pupil had already experimented with heroin and told his mother that unless he escaped Calne's drug dealers, he could be dead within five years,
Tragically, he had only been in his new flat for 48 hours when a fire caused by a faulty heater resulted in his death.
Mrs Kimber, who keeps a room at her home dedicated to Andrew's memory, will visit his grave in Somerset today and lay his birthday cards and pour a bottle of his favourite beer into the soil.
Describing the last three years as the worst of her life, she said: "They say that time heals, but I would say that although it numbs you, the pain never goes away.
"I still feel Andrew is here with me always. I speak to him, I write to him and visit him every week.
"And on the anniversary of his death, we send a balloon into the air from his grave, with messages tied to it.
"Each year, on my birthday, I also bring out the last card he bought me, in which he said how he was determined to make me proud of him one day."
Mrs Kimber was living in Oxford Road, Calne, at the time of her son's death and was on holiday in Gran Canaria with her mother when she received a phone call with the devastating news.
"When my daughter Rachel called to tell me the news I couldn't believe it. I wanted it to be a joke, but I knew it wasn't," she said.
"He had always been the light of my life and I thought he was so brave, moving away from everything he knew to make a fresh start."
She added: "We had visited drug counsellors in Bath and he had seen a psychotherapist. I knew, and toxicology reports confirmed, that he was clean of drugs.
"But on December 22, 2001, a gas heater given to him by his aunt sparked a fire, which he appears to have slept right through the only saving grace is that he died in his sleep."
Mrs Kimber, who had been due to return from holiday on Christmas Day, said: "I last saw him on the December 10.
"I kissed him goodbye and asked him what type of aftershave he wanted me to buy him. That bottle of Hugo Boss aftershave is now in the memory chest in his room here, unopened."
Mrs Kimber said that she and her daughter Rachel, now 20, still often sit in Andrew's room and talk to him.
The memory chest dedicated to Andrew tells the story of his life in pictures, cards, toys and letters. And his mum still writes a daily diary to her son, which she keeps on his bookcase.
"The Christmas that Andrew died, I came home and stripped the house of decorations and since then Christmas has always been difficult," she said.
"But on a visit to a medium, soon after his death, she told me that someone I had lost recently was asking why there was no Christmas tree.
"So I went home and dressed one from the garden for him."
The coroner recorded a verdict of accidental death on Andrew in 2002, but the court also heard that Andrew's father, who was effectively his son's landlord, had not fitted smoke alarms, and that Andrew had slept through the blaze.
"I did blame my ex-husband for a while for what had happened, but as time has passed, he and I have begun communicating again and I realised that he too had lost his son," said Mrs Kimber.
After finding that counselling helped her with her grief, Mrs Kimber has also undertaken a counselling course and now hopes to study for a diploma, so she can help others suffering bereavement.
"Nothing could ever bring back my son," she said.
"But I will go down to see Andrew today, give him all my news and tell him I love him as I always do.
"He may not be here with us, but I know he can hear me and he'll always be in my heart."
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