The Cat in the Hat (PG) is based on a legendary Dr Seuss book and it is not hard to see why it was chosen as a vehicle for comedian Mike Myers.
The Grinch, based on another Dr Seuss tale, made a mint and spawned an awesomely profitable merchandising industry.
Sadly like The Grinch, the finished result is something of a vanity project for Myers, who after the lamentable Austin Powers series (yes, I know I am in a minority here) obviously believes a bit of make-up and a funny voice makes him the most hilarious man in Hollywood.
This lurid adaptation bears only scant resemblance to the original rhyme, which has been embellished with all manner of crude humour and narrative padding.
Mischievous child Spencer Breslin and his goody two shoes sister Dakota Fanning and are trapped inside one rainy afternoon, with little to keep them occupied.
The two children couldn't be more different but both yearn for the love of their mother Kelly Preston, who is stuck in the office at the beck and call of her deranged boss, Sean Hayes. Baby-sitter Amy Hill falls asleep on the sofa and leaves the little ones to their own devices.
Along comes The Cat In The Hat, promising to cheer the children up. Aided by the gymnastic Thing 1 and Thing 2, The Cat proceeds to wreck the house then helps the youngsters to see their charming next door neighbour, sharply tailored Alec Baldwin, for the scheming slimeball he truly is.
They are having so much fun they forget that their mother is hosting an important party at the house. Can they clear up the mess before she and the guests arrive?
The Cat In The Hat is blessed with eye-popping art direction and set design and some gorgeous costumes and make-up. But Myers recycles his Austin Powers buffoonery behind the cat's latex bodysuit and isn't remotely likable or funny. If anything, his four-legged fool is somewhat sinister.
It's depressing stuff with only a handful of laughs for younger viewers and even less entertainment for parents.
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