JEREL IFIL admits he has hit rock bottom. A succession of suspensions and a glaring loss of form culminated in a personal nightmare at Roots Hall on Tuesday night.
The Beast was culpable for the first goal and was massively below par as Town crashed out of the LDV Trophy at Southend.
A concerted play-off push is the only thing that can save the club's season now and Ifil is determined to bounce back and play his part.
He'll have to clean up his act first though.
A fifth booking of the season at Brentford sees the 22-year-old miss the visit of Stockport on Saturday that on the back of recent bans for dismissals against Huddersfield and Bradford in the past eight weeks.
"The last couple of months have definitely been the lowest point of my Swindon career," said Ifil.
"First there was the two sendings-off and then a fifth booking, which means I can't play on Saturday.
"It's definitely been affecting the way I've been playing lately. I've been very disappointed with my own performances.
"I haven't had a regular run in the team for a while and it's really had an effect on my game.
"All I want is regular football. At the moment I come back for two games and then I'm out again.
"It's the same for anyone if you miss games strikers or defenders. It affects your sharpness. It's difficult to cope with the pace of the game.
"I need to get back in the rhythm, but as soon as I come back into the side I've got another suspension on Saturday.
"I'll be watching the Stockport game but it's very frustrating not being able to play frustration is all I've had for the past two months."
As well as a lack of match practice, Ifil cites a severe dip in collective confidence on his own performances and that of Andy King's faltering team.
"We're lacking the killer instinct in all departments at the moment," he said.
"We're struggling to score goals and we're defending nervously.
"It's a confidence thing.
"Confidence comes with wins. If we can pick up a win no matter how scrappy it will give us all a lift and that's what everyone needs at the moment."
Ifil's deepening gloom is a far cry from the imposing displays he was producing in tandem with Sean O'Hanlon at the heart of Town's defence earlier in the campaign.
But the ex-Watford man does not lack self-belief.
He's adamant he will return to his best before long and is urging the club's supporters to keep the faith too.
"This is just a blip," said Ifil. "At the beginning of the season I proved I can do the job and was playing well.
"I'm confident I will bounce back.
"The fans just have to hold tight.
"Things can only get better from here and things will get better."
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