HOT Lips Houlihan was the man-hungry major in the 4077th Mash unit, renowned as much for her bedside manner with Major Frank Burns as her bedside manner as a nurse.

Her key physical attribute was, of course, luscious lips, but now a new product claims to be able to turn even the thinnest gash of a mouth into a plumptious pair of pouters, and all in time for Valentine's Day.

No cosmetic surgery, no collagen injections, just a liberal layer of Dr Denese's MegaLips, a lip-plumping cream which, the manufacturers claim, provides immediate and long-term lip plumpness.

Users, they say, experience an average increase in lip volume of 60 per cent within ten-15 minutes of application and the results last approximately two and a half hours.

"Helps to visibly reduce fine lip lines and wrinkles and rekindles the youthful glow of pink, full lips," says the packaging.

Such largesse on the lip front seemed too good to be true, but does it do what it says on the box?

With testers clamouring to give it a shot, Journal Woman asked to know more.

Samples were duly despatched to our offices and lips were smeared with tiny amounts of MegaLips.

Why such trepidation?

Well, read the small print and you find a warning that lips may tingle or even burn as you slather on MegaLips, largely because a key ingredient of the cream is a natural plant extract from a member of the chilli family.

So the result is not unlike snipping the tip off a chilli and applying it like lipstick.

But, we were reassured, "the small amount of discomfort is soon forgotten when you look in the mirror."

Within minutes, lips were a-tingle and dashes were made to mirrors as we imagined our lips inflating like balloons.

Would we end up with the bee-stung look of Renee Zellweger, the laughing gear of Julia Roberts or a dreaded trout pout?

Someone said my lips looked pinker but no different size-wise, Sarah was convinced her lower lip had expanded and Jo and Jill peered closely at one another and were almost sure they could see a difference.

Thinking I had been measly with the amount, I tried again later on that day - more tingling but no discernible difference.

Third time lucky, I thought, and slapped a generous amount on.

Too much in fact and, absent-mindedly, I licked my lips, only to find the tingle is transferable and my tongue started throbbing too.

Pucker up with your Valentine at his peril, I suggest - smooching with you might be too hot for him to handle.

A 15ml tube of MegaLips costs £27.50 and is available from Dr Denese on 0870 1900003 or online at www.drdenese.co.uk