15434/1GAZETTE & HERALD: CALNE mothers have been helping the NSPCC develop its new book Keeping Your Cool as part of its latest national campaign.

One in six parents of babies and toddlers lose their temper with their child almost every other day, according to a new survey by the charity.

The findings come as the NSPCC launches a new public education drive entitled Hit Means Lost It, aimed at supporting parents to better understand and manage their stress and anger levels so they do not take it out on their baby or toddler.

Marie, 20, was among the 50 parents who use the NSPCC Calne Family Centre at Broken Cross who took part in the study within three groups.

She said said she had suffered from depression after giving birth to the first of her two sons, now aged three and one. As a single parent she found it hard to cope until she was persuaded to go to the family centre.

She said the centre was a major factor in helping her cope with the stress of bringing up her boys.

"It was difficult bringing up my first child as I did not know what I was doing. I was 17 and lumbered with a child. It's a great responsibility.

"He was a good sleeper so the slightest thing and I would jump out of bed, but overall it was not too bad.

"Then he got older and it became more tiring looking after him, but I started asking for help.

"One time I lightly just tapped him, there was no mark or bruises, but I was reported by my landlady to Social Services.

"I had a womb infection and I used to change him on my lap and he kicked me in the stomach and it was just an initial reaction. I cried afterwards."

However, Marie smacked her eldest son again more severely when she was suffering depression last year and her youngest son was suffering from suspected meningitis.

She decided to tell the NSPCC and Social Services and the NSPCC were able to respond and give Marie and the children the support they needed.

"I immediately knew I should not have done that and I reported myself," she said. "People said I was wrong for doing that but I knew I should. I could not believe what I had done."

Marie, together with the other parents, has now helped the NSPCC write a book that advises parents how to calm down and keep control in different situations.

Marie said the family centre, had been a great help to her.

"If I feel like I am getting pushed to my limit I will now put the children upstairs in the bedroom and I will hold the door open and, if I need to, I will go downstairs and relax for a bit," she said.

"I also know the people here (at the NSPCC) and I call them up if I need to talk to them."

Children's services manager at NSPCC Calne, Charlotte Brand, said the charity is not just for single parents or families with problems or that are struggling but for everyone.

"We offer lots of drop-in sessions for every parent in the community," she said. "It's a chance to build up networks in the community but also to talk to an NSPCC worker in the centre.

"This is for everyone in the community not just parents that are struggling financially or emotionally. People also come in just to ask simple questions like where is the nearest playgroup or doctor's surgery."

For the new book, parents were asked what gets them to the point of losing control and what they do to avoid a situation arising.

Ms Brand added: "Through our initiative, we want to get across the important message that there are better and safer ways to discipline your children, such as praising the behaviour you want to encourage, whilst ignoring the smaller problems that children soon grow out of."

The family centre helped Marie and her family by building her confidence in her parenting, helping her and the children build a network of support in the community, showing her how she can handle the children's behaviour in positive ways, and providing her with someone to turn to and enabling her to approach other agencies.

NSPCC children's services practitioner, Donna Oakes, said: "This experience has helped strengthen the relationship between Marie and the boys."

As part of the initiative, the NSPCC is also providing advice for parents through its helplines on 0808 800 5000. It is also embarking on a three-week TV and radio advertising campaign.