Living life at the double

WALK into a meeting of the Salisbury Twins and More Club on the second Monday of any given month and the noise and chaos hits you. It must be double the normal volume and mess that the average toddler group is capable of producing, but scattered among the tots are the mums who have learned the hard way how to live life at the double.

They have mastered the art of balancing a baby on each hip, feeding two by two, nappy changing in relays, tandem bathing and surviving on virtually no sleep, as one twin wakes up just as the other drops off.

But they are also the women who, this Mother's Day, will get two kisses instead of one - and they wouldn't have it any other way.

The incidence of twin births in this country is about one in 67 pregnancies, and twins have a habit of taking mum by surprise and turning up early.

Ali Prudence, who travels in to the club from Warminster, was preparing to celebrate her son Matthew's second birthday when she went into labour eight weeks early and gave him a brother (Ben) and sister (Sophie), both now five months old, as an unexpected birthday present.

"I expected it to be easier this time - the same amount of work, but just do it twice," she says.

"It's not like that, but you get there in the end and manage, and Matthew has been so helpful."

Birthday parties in the Prudence household will be three times the fun from now on.

Shelly Brewer, who lives in Lime Kiln Way, appreciated all the help she could get when identical twins Charlie and James arrived 14 months ago.

Luckily, she has her own Mummy's little helper in the form of their big sister, eight-year-old Chloe.

"I love the school holidays," says Shelley. "She's a great help."

Twins are not unknown in her family - she has twin cousins - but she says it was still a surprise when she found out she was expecting two babies.

"The twins club is a godsend - it's a really good network.

"Everything is so different with two, but I've got good family support."

She said that she looked for a twins club when she was pregnant but there wasn't one available then.

Wendy Herbert, five months pregnant and looking swell, is grateful that the situation had changed by the time she was expecting.

Have her visits put her off?

"No, it the opposite," she laughs.

"They have helped me with advice, and the support from the other mums is invaluable. Normally, you can go to your own mum for help, but mine didn't have twins.

"It's given me the reassurance that it can be done."

Michelle Bennett, mother of two-and-a-half-year-old Chloe and Kerri, admits that her girls can be a bit of a handful and she finds it quite hard work.

The twins club, she says, made her realise that she wasn't alone.

Sue Sanderson agrees that being able to talk to other people with twins and compare notes is a big advantage.

It's not been plain sailing with her twins, who are now 16 months.

At her 20-week scan, Sue was told that her little girl, Charlie Georgia, would probably be born with a cleft palate, and Sue had the agony of the next few weeks to wait before Charlie Georgia emerged in perfect health.

Instead, little Connor was born with shortened femurs, stunting the growth of both legs.

Sue is currently trying to raise £10,000 for prosthetics, an electric wheelchair and a manual wheelchair.

"I wouldn't change him for the world - he is so contented," she says.

"It's just as easy to look after two as it is one - even one with problems."

Amesbury mum Laura Cable is already used to juggling career and family - she works part-time as a bank manager for Barclays - so she has taken juggling the daily needs of four-year-old Amy and identical twins Mia and Ella (11 months) in her stride.

"It's hard work but not the chaos I expected," she says.

"These two are very placid and Amy has been very good and very patient with them."

Laura met up with Emma McDonald, mother of 20-month-old Eloise and Verona, at toddler group, and supported Emma's plans for setting up a group just for people who had experienced multiple births.

Now about 20 mums belong to the club, which is affiliated to Tamba (the Twins and Multiple Births Association).Not all can attend the day-time meetings, so members also hold evening get-togethers once a month at one another's homes without the children.

Emma says having twins has its ups and downs, from the moment you discover you are expecting them.

"You ask yourself, how can I have enough love for two babies, and how can I love them the same?

"Well, you do . . . the love just flows out of you and engulfs your babies - and you love them equally, too."

She finds that, on a practical level, there is a big difference between having just one (she has a young son as well) and dealing with two.

"Now even a swimming lesson is fraught - two change-bags, two lunc-bags, one girl in the crche, one in the pool with me, whose turn is it this week? Did I remember to book the crche? Where's my swim bag - still on the stair at home. Just getting out of the car to cross the street, she says, is a complex manoeuvre involving two sets of reins, one girl tied to her in case she runs away while she gets the other out of the car seat.

"On the flip side, there is a part of having twins that is special and wonderful - catching them sharing a private joke, one comforting the other when she is upset, passing over a cherished toy, when they both come into bed for a cuddle in the morning, shouting in unison, when they come up to me and smother me in kisses and hugs.

"Well-meaning non-twins people often talk of 'double trouble' - it's not twice the trouble, it's 'blow you mind away' times more trouble but it's also infinitely more wonderful in ways that non-twins people can never know."