Mary Ratcliffe Picture Ref: 77576-78THE word respect has been given an elevated state of prominence. Headlined in every national newspaper. Raised as an issue of great importance in The Queen's speech, it is placed at the very heart of the Prime Minister's pledge to rediscover our once polite, caring and respectful society.

Yobbishness, vandalism, binge drinking, gun totting, hooliganism, bullying, graffiti, spitting, swearing, verbal and physical abuse, and every form of unacceptable and threatening behaviour is blamed for the present situation, in which the most vulnerable among us live in fear of becoming victims of the present shameful ethos of cultural importance that has beset our beloved country.

The "hoodies" are the most recent group to be blamed for the present anti-social behaviour.

Many people have suggested that all yobs should be made to wear a uniform.

Two wrongs do not make a right. To diminish and humiliate people who already lack self-worth and self- esteem is to further perpetuate their anti-social behaviour.

Having spent a lifetime in the field of caring, nursing physically impaired people, and a number of years as an acupuncture practitioner, I have long studied and witnessed the crucial explanation that determines cause and effect.

I know that the present yob culture cannot be turned around overnight. Not tomorrow. Not next week.

Why? Because we first have to confront and tackle the cause. The uncomfortable truth! The causes are manifold.

The present documentary series featuring families behaving badly reveals the daily atmosphere in which many children, from babyhood, are living in our stricken and insecure society.

Swearing is routine. The children are never praised or made to feel valued. Natural warmth and affection is non-existent.

The families do not share a meal together at a table.

The children do not know how to use a knife and fork. Please and thank you are simply not a part of their obscene vocabulary.

Screaming, shouting and smacking is the norm. It is their daily life.

Entertainment? The film industry produces and releases films of excessive violence, torture, rape, child abuse and the helpless plight of women subjected to lewd and violent sex.

When such films are advertised as being unsuitable for children, they naturally go to the privacy of their rooms and watch them anyway, or to someone else's home where there are no restrictions.

Refuge houses for battered women would not exist throughout our country were there no need for such a drastic avenue of escape from domestic hell in which, all too often, tiny children are traumatised and haunted by deeply disturbing memories.

Easy money and the example of football idols who are paid unrealistic salaries has become the dream goal of achievement and material expectations as children strive to be like their gods.

From a background of physical and mental trauma in which junk food is the normal sustenance, many of our deprived young children begin their first day at school feeling totally bewildered, unable to sit still and silently, with a peer group to whom they are unable to relate.

Singled out as trouble makers, inevitably a further decade looms of feeling devalued, rejected and unloved in a breeding ground for furtive bullying and isolation in which the pressure to pass exams is the prime requisite, and has precious little to do with a rounded personality, creativity and good and caring citizenship.

At this early stage in childhood the mobile phone has become a permanent fixture in the school satchel.

Excellent when in need of help and keeping in touch with parents or carers, the downside is horrendous, as in the case of a nine-year-old girl who was invited to become a prostitute.

The dangerous chatlines, abusive messages from bullies and seductive inducements from paedophiles are all causes for distress, pain and fear.

The suicide rate for young children has increased, driven to the ultimate because they felt that no one had listened, understood or responded to their cries for help.

To stigmatise children because they are different, their looks do not conform or they come from an inadequate background, is to deprive them from fulfilling their potential as adults in our society.

Tragically, over a considerable period of time, it is we who have created today's yob culture, fostering an easy money and totally materialistic lifestyle.

We have a gi'me gi'me gi'me ethos that disregards politeness, caring and deep concern towards our fellow humans and the animal kingdom that continues to suffer from man's wanton cruelty.

Teachers have been instructed to clamp down on discipline but the way back to reclaiming a safe, secure, polite and acceptable culture at every stage in our journey is not their sole responsibility.

We are all responsible. In the home. In school. In the workplace, and in every home and institution. To be there for each other. To eradicate the violence and remove the fear. That children today and future generations will grow to become proud citizens of a just and caring society in which every child, through his or her formative years feels valued, secure, rich in self-esteem and blessed with the warm comfort of universal love.

The cause must be faced. The uncomfortable truth beckons. To generate an ethos of respect . . . that respect must become reciprocal.